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Leo Davidson writing the ostracism speech of Cleon against Aristophanes
The Ostracism of Aristophanes, Son of Philippos
Leo Maximilian Davidson
(aged 14 of The Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' School, Elstree )
[This document, discovered just east of Phaleron, is the transcript of a speech made by the demagogue Kleon, the theme of which is the ostracism of the comic dramatist Aristophanes. It was written by a historian called Leonidas, who, according to most scholars, is a very reliable and impartial source. Judging by the plays cited and the time of Kleon's death, the date of the speech can be placed to around February of 422 B.C. Almost all historians agree that Kleon was unlikely to have expected success in the endeavour to ostracise Aristophanes, as the poet was extremely popular among Athenians; it has been suggested that the speech was some sort of self-promoting advertisement as part of an election campaign, and others have said that Kleon is simply using the pretext of ostracism to slander Aristophanes and lose him some votes at the next festival. Whatever his motives, he died a few weeks after delivering this oration at the Battle of Amphipolis, and so we do not see a reply from Aristophanes in any plays; however, the play produced by Aristophanes directly after Kleon's death is noticeably upbeat, doubtless due to the demise of his greatest antagonist. There is fierce debate in scholarly circles as to whether, when Kleon in his speech misinterprets a play or quote, it is deliberately manipulated to suit his agenda, or he genuinely misunderstands what Aristophanes is satirising. L.M.D.]
Athenians of the Great Assembly.
I, Kleon, would like to begin by extending my most gracious thanks for your attendance today; a day on which I give each one of you the privilege of personally saving this city from a threat of worrying imminence (as I have done many times during the course of my life) that will otherwise engulf the whole of Attica with its veiled poison and deceptive innocence (as I have never done). In a life of public service over many years, I have protected you and your families from countless attacks from countless adversaries, I have shed countless drops of blood doing so and spent countless hours deliberating over how to make Athens the best she could possibly be. After ensuring the rejection of Spartan calls for peace following the defeat of their navy and subsequent inability to support their troops on the island of Sphacteria , I, with negligible help from Demosthenes, courageously obtained victory where Nicias could not. I fought so fearsomely as to move the Spartans to surrender, an occurrence not often heard of. I have been accused of being ruthless, but if this is true, it is only because my love of Attica drives me to irrationality; I am angered when she is offended, I am enraged when she is mocked. I make no secret of these character traits of mine; rather, I proclaim and proudly boast them. I am honoured to think that I strive tirelessly to improve and increase Athens with perpetual devotion, swimming vigorously against the torrent of obdurate, uncompromising and inflexible conservatives, who believe that Athens is already perfect, and could not possibly be modified for the better.
Athens is, without a doubt, the greatest city ever to be inhabited by mortals. We excel in everything. In the theatre, what man can claim not to have been brought to tears by the tragic plays of Aeschylus, of Sophokles, or, for those who prefer the more modern style, Euripides? These and others create such atmosphere in the theatre that one, not infrequently, has to remind oneself that what is being acted out before one is not actual, but drama. In philosophy, Socrates and his house of thinking is bringing Athens fame and respect all around the Mediterranean and further afield. The beauty of our art, from majestic mosaics to magnificent murals, from intricately ornate pottery to stunningly accurate sculptures, makes us the envy of the rest of the world. What festival could be even thought of to be a parallel to our very own Great Panathenaia? Even at foreign festivals we steal the show: at Olympia , Athenian athletes win every event from pentathlon to boxing, from equestrian events to track events. If there ever was a musical festival which did not deserve to be won by an Athenian, I certainly cannot remember it. I doubt if there is a man alive who does not wish that Athens had been his birth-place.
All of that having been said, if we do as the conservatives prescribe, Athens will lose its pre-eminent position in the world, and we shall before long be overtaken by those unworthy to inherit the glory we as Athenians currently enjoy. Our whole society is built on competitiveness; if we pull out of the race, we will within few generations be transformed from an object of admiration to one of ridicule. Would you like the world of your children to be one in which Athens is second-best to Sparta ? Would you like the world of your great grand-children to be one in which Athens is a forgotten city, where gusts of wind sweep through filthy, polluted streets, carrying mere whispers of past greatness? I hope that you all think, as I do, that these are completely unacceptable, but let no man be uncertain of this: these things will become reality. Only, that is, if we sit back and bask in our glory, unwilling to change anything about our city. We cannot be like the Locrians, with our heads in nooses: we must progress and evolve with every breath we take. That is why, when I am confronted with conservatism, I am infuriated to the highest degree. That is why I have called upon you today to save this city from a man who flagrantly spreads his destructive conservative views: a man who must be ostracised.
Not only is the man an obstinate fool, but he is a hypocrite as well. Having profusely insisted that Athens remains exactly the way it is now, he then, in the same breath, goes on to mock and satirise those very institutions for which Athens is most loved and revered. Those things he wishes to preserve are the very things he finds risible! It would appear that his conservatism is a few centuries too late: it seems as though he yearns for the old days of the tyrannical despotism and Draconic legislation that Athens struggled to eliminate and eject from the city a hundred years ago. Ironically, his name is, like those of the characters fabricated in his plays, comically apt, because although a despicable and loathsome character in actuality, he presents an immaculate appearance. I will try to explain to the best of my ability over the course of the next few minutes why it is in the best interests of the State and of the population thereof to ostracise Aristophanes.
In a play entitled the Akharnians three years ago, in the sixth year of the Peloponnesian War, this playwright propagated dangerously anti-democratic opinions and callously encouraged treachery. O Athenians! how unfortunate are you, to be mocked and shamed by this lowliest of men. When he insults officials, elected by your vote, chosen by you, he laughs at you. He mocks your decisions, your choices. Was Lamakhos not elected? By three cuckoos, in the opinion of Aristophanes! I would find it remarkable if any one of the thousands present here today would be flattered by the label of "cuckoo." I have personally become rapidly and increasingly incensed by his incessant insults and insinuations, and one would have thought that any other man alive would feel the same way. When you deliberate over whom you wish to elect for office, I doubt you then wish to be made out to be fools, or should I say cuckoos, having made your choice. Remember this, Athenians: when Aristophanes satirises publicly-elected politicians, the actual butts of his jokes are the public. You are the public. You are the demos, and this is a democracy, not an Aristophanocracy. Evoking handfuls of smiles at the festivals does not justify the embarrassment and shame caused by the simultaneous abuse which is conveyed within the very jokes that cause you to vote for him at annual festivals.
Vote for him one last time, and ostracise Aristophanes.
The main character of this play, Dikaiopolis, makes a secret "treaty" with the Spartans and benefits hugely from the results of his betrayal of his city. This inherently selfish character, not unlike his creator, finishes the play deliriously happy and blissfully drunk, while Lamakhos, the valiant taxiarch, is lying wounded on a stretcher after battle. In a bizarre inversion of logic, the audience is expected to admire the traitor and laugh at the plight of the hero! Athenians, I do not crave war, and I do not bring it upon our city needlessly. I do, however, wish for Athens to maintain its position as the world's most powerful state. Sparta declared war on this city out of the spiteful jealousy I spoke of earlier, and we cannot afford to have poets writing plays that reduce morale. We cannot withstand the detrimental effect of a poet who sits at home, counting lines and sparking controversies within the population while soldiers lie on battlefields, counting wounds and doing something constructive to bring this war to its conclusion. No-one wants this war, and despite what Aristophanes would have you believe, no-one is profiting from it, but we must unify as a state, as a democracy and win this war. We know how tough the war is on farmers, we know the strife the war has caused them. That is why we need to win this war, not whinge like spoilt children about how bad it is. We didn't start it, but with Athene's help we mean to finish it victorious, as soon as possible. I urge you to dispel this fool from the city; if he wants peace with Sparta let him go and become one of them.
Ostracise Aristophanes.
Two years ago, Aristophanes produced a play at the Lenaia called "Knights." No doubt most of you have heard of it; many of you probably voted for it, as it won first prize. This is something I find utterly incomprehensible. Here is a play written by an obnoxious, arrogant aristocrat, who considers those who earn money rather than inherit it to be beneath him, mocking you. Indeed, in the play he viciously mocks me; if that was the whole of it, then I could well understand its success. It is not, however, only me who finds himself depicted as an object of ridicule in the play: it is you! It is the demos, the people, the population of Athens . You are represented as a crotchety, dim-witted old man, incapable of independent decision making. You, the people of Athens , are cast as a gullible, senile man, who is subject to the will of one man. It is not I, but you who are mocked to the greater extent in the play! Is this not a democracy? Are you, as a people, not entirely in charge of your own city, rather than a manipulated tool used by politicians, as Aristophanes suggests? Exercise your power of the vote! Throw his insulting allegations back in his face, do as I say and ostracise Aristophanes.
Not only does he deride those instrumental to the process of democracy, but he scoffs at the institution itself! The thing that Athens can boast of above all else, the unique system of government that sets Athens apart from all other cities; he has the sheer impudence to scorn this city's crowning glory. It would appear as though he would prefer to inhabit a city without democracy; such being the case, I advise you, the apparently risible demos of Athens , to send our friend Aristophanes for a ten-year trip to Sparta to see how he enjoys his stay there. Then, upon his return, let us see how quick he is to mock Athens ' system of government, having experienced the systems of government employed by less fortunate Hellenes beyond our borders. Let us see how quickly his chuckles reach our ears when the chuckler is on the out side of the long walls of Athens .
For how can we tolerate a demos-mocking anti-democrat in the midst of this glistening and violet-crowned city? The fundamental basis of democracy is that the people decide what is best for the city and act accordingly. If the people of Athens are susceptible to rhetoric fancifulness and artfulness; if elections are mere contests of oratory skill; if democracy is nothing more that a device to propel skilful liars to positions of power, then we may as well return to the aristocratic oligarchy of two hundred years ago. Aristophanes says the following: "And yet you are gullible; / You like being flattered and / You're easily led astray." If that is the case, then Kleisthenes may just as well have never been born; but the fact is that he was born, and he paved the way for Athens to become the just and noble city we currently inhabit. He gave us the laws and institutions that Aristophanes holds in no regard whatsoever, including the law of ostracism. Restore him to the honour of which he has been stripped by Aristophanes; commemorate his contribution to this city by carrying out a process created by him. I implore you: ostracise Aristophanes.
Apart from elections to office, what could be more intrinsic to the concept of democracy than jury service? I ask you: what man could possibly be so overtly disrespectful to Athens and her laws as to mock her litigation, the very backbone of her society? I am certain you have already guessed the answer: Aristophanes. In his most recent play, the Wasps, he scorns those of us who are too fond of serving on the jury, too keen to see that justice is done, too eager to be a good citizen. The preposterously named "Philokleon," the main character of the play, is stopped by his son, Bdelykleon, from going to court. Anti-democratic. The son claims that the jury-system is being exploited by demagogues. Anti-democratic. It is implied that all jurors are miserable old men, who never acquit anyone. Horrifically, dangerously and blatantly anti-democratic. The first person acquitted by Philokleon is a dog; what does that say about Aristophanes' view of the common Athenian? Again showing the man's intense arrogance and snobbery. The whole play is merely another spit on the glory of Athens and on that which makes her glorious. This poet has been given huge rights of freedom and of non-censorship by the state of Athens , and how does he repay the city which is so kind to him? As a gesture of thanks, he laughs in her face, while exploiting the extensive freedom expended to him. By way of showing his appreciation, he shames her in front of foreigners and stirs feelings of distrust among her very citizens! The point has come at which we must stop laughing and face the reality of the situation: we must ostracise Aristophanes.
Let no man think that I am one who cannot take a joke; I laughed heartily along with the rest of the audience at the Lenaia when the plays were performed. But it is when the joke ceases to be in jest, and professes to be the honest truth, that the play ceases to be something at which we laugh, but rather something which we treat with concern and apprehensive scrutiny. For in the Acharnians, Aristophanes' prize-winning play three years ago, the poet claims about himself that "he'll put in his comedies all that is rightful." He furthermore boasts that "he'll teach you a lot of good things." I ask you, men of Athens , do these sound like the words of a man whose sole aims are to rouse a laugh and win a prize? This "poet" has a barely concealed political agenda, and considering himself too good for the life of a politician, he propagates his appallingly anti-democratic, anti-progressive and generally anti-Athenian views, under the guise of entertainment. Rather than face his political opponent in open, fair debate, he chooses instead to ridicule and poke fun at him, while cowardly hiding in the shadows behind the back of the amphitheatre. So it is that I implore you, Athenians, not to think to yourself, "Why ostracise this man, for he does no wrong, but merely jests," for as I have shown, this is not the case; on the contrary, he is a politician posing unconvincingly as a playwright.
You may know that I accused Aristophanes not long ago of disgracing and slandering Athens in front of foreigners. Then, in his next play, he sarcastically comments that, as there would be no foreigners at the festival, it would be fine to make his snide comments, and I had no cause for complaint. Not so, Athenians, not so. For it is not only before foreigners of the present day that I wish to glorify Athens, and it is not only to today's foreigners that I wish to present my city in the best possible light. Rather, it is to the foreigners of all future generations. Sooner or later, we will all pass from this world, leaving nothing behind but memories and legacies. My worry is, gentlemen, that the plays of Aristophanes, every one of which having been written down, will be read centuries from now, and those reading them will not recognize the poetry to be that of a second-rate idiot, but instead think them to be priceless works of historical evidence. My worry is that many years from now, people will think that Athens , my Athens , the greatest city in the world, was the place described in the "comedies" of Aristophanes. Do you want your descendants to see the Athens of today through Aristophanes' eyes? While our scorched bones lie in the earth, these plays will survive for all posterity, leaving behind them a trail of anti-Athenian untruths. Thucydides wishes to be "a possession for ever;" do not give Aristophanes the same privilege. While you are forgotten, these plays will continue to shape the views of future generations, to shape history. Today, Athenians, I give to you the chance to change history for the better. Stem the flow of putrid propaganda pouring from this poet's pen!
Ostracise Aristophanes!
[Bibliography:- Oxford Companion to Classical Literature; These Were the Greeks, Amos & Lang (Hulton); The plays of Aristophanes: Acharnians (tr. A Sommerstein); Knights (tr. A Sommerstein); Clouds (tr. A Sommerstein); Wasps (tr. D Barrett); Peace (tr. A Sommerstein); Birds (tr. D Barrett); Frogs (tr. D Barrett); Lysistrata (tr. A Sommerstein); Poet and the Women (tr. D Barrett); Assemblywomen (tr. D Barrett); Wealth (tr. A Sommerstein); Aristophanes and Athens , D MacDowell (OUP 1995); Aristophanes and his Theatre of the Absurd, P Cartledge (BCS 2001); Ancient Rhetoric and Oratory, T Habinek (Blackwell 2005); A Guide to Ancient Greek Drama, Storey & Allan (Blackwell 2005);
Web-sites:-www.classicspage.com; www.lbdb.com (on Kleon); en.wikipedia.org (Battle of Sphacteria); www.in2greece.com (Kleon); www.theatredatabase.com (Aristophanes); www.imagi-nation.com (Aristophanes); www.usefultrivia.com (Aristophanes); www.csun.edu (texts on ostracism).]